Subtitle by Aldi Arman
The Empress is arriving
Quick... it's the Empress.
Long live the Empress!
Please rise, Lords
Thank you Empress
Which story should we put on today?
Civil order
Then l must trouble you three to perform
All has been prepared
Put your costume on
The weather is clement on the sixth of October
Lord Sima is faithfully doing his duties
Documenting the Emperor's
165th time false patrolling the town as a civilian
ready!
good day Emperor!
Please rise, Lord Sima
Thank you Emperor
So, Sima
What role am l playing today?
A businessman passing through the town
And you?
Your attendant
Brother! Oh no!
l'm here!
no way!
lsn't she learning meditation with the Withered Tree Monk?
Oh-no! Brother!
She's coming. Think of something
Brother!
good morning afternoon evening
lt's alright. Please Princess
You may rise
Brother, why didn't you ask me
Why l greet you for the morning, afternoon and evening all at once?
Well...
You all say behind my back that l talk too much
So l just said everything at once
To reduce the number of times you need to hear me speak
Do you think l'm clever? Let's take a walk around
Sure
Brother, am l really that annoying?
lf l am, you have to tell me
You still have to tell me if l'm not
l mean, you need to tell me
Whether l am or not
Or else l really wouldn't know
Brother, why don't you say something?
Why?
Haven't l explained myself clearly enough?
Do l need to say it again?
Oh, by the way
You haven't asked me
Why l'm not with the Withered Tree Monk
One day, he told me
That when he met me, he finally realized
His 50 years of meditation training is nothing
Because l can talk till a withered tree sprout
Why can a withered tree sprout?
Why? And so will it flower too?
Brother, tell me why
Doctor!
Doctor, why are you here?
What are you doing here?
Tell me
goodness!
Lord ning is arriving!
Long live the Empress!
Please rise
Thank you, Empress
l had a bit to drink last night and woke late
You know my son
Can still be immature in his ways
He still needs to consult you in many matters
Cue the thief!
Your money bag is gone
Thief...
Thief!
My things have been stolen!
Thief!
You idiot! Stop!
Stop right there!
Untie me, quickly
Stupid thief!
How dare you!
Commit robbery in the middle of the day?
lt's a serious offense!
What's it going to do with you?
You... you're for real?
So what, huh?
You hit me so hard?
With real kung-fu?
lt wasn't full strength
no? Well it hurts!
Look, your saliva
What about it?
Look at yourself
Even though you're a thief
As a doctor
l have duty to cure you
l'm all better!
Thank you for saving my life, doctor
l'm all better now
Much better than l was
Stop!
lt's too touching
As a sheriff
Catching thieves is my duty
As for you, doctor
Saving lives is your duty
So if we all do our jobs right
There wouldn't be injustice in the world!
Emperor!
All hail the Emperor!
Well done!
As civilians
We are only able to do what we're supposed to
All because of
The Emperor's diligent leadership
We can live a stable and happy life
All hail the Emperor!
Stop!
Why is there music?
And dancing?
Emperor
Music and dance are ways
That the people thank the Emperor for his work
lt's not at all rehearsed
Please understand, Emperor
Really?
Emperor
Our country is at peace
You bestow good things on people
And answer their requests
They have boundless love for you
Which is why there is singing and dancing
lt is to express their respect for the Emperor
Are you done?
Commander Chen
What kind of sheriff are you?
Bashing up a petty thief
Like that with such vengeance?
Emperor, you know
His head is like a metal helmet
Swords simply cannot hurt him
Oh?
Really?
Emperor
lf you find him injured in any way at all
l'm willing to be punished
Lying to the Emperor is a fatal crime
Mind your words
Look at this
What is this?
A nail
You're dead
Doctor, you shouldn't have much to laugh about
What did you just do?
l did the honorable deed
Of saving a thief
l applied two needles
See, l saved him
lsn't his body resistant to swords?
Then how did your needles work?
Obviously you're lying
How dare you!
Please Emperor, please!
Today Commander Chen injured a thief
Doctor Wang helped create a false story
Which the diligent Emperor saw through
Are you done?
Yes
lt's your turn
Re-enact the burglary scene
Yes, Emperor
Thief...
Thief!
What do you two think of his acting?
There's no heart in it
lt's too exaggerated and not in character
What's worse is, you startled me
Another crime!
Emperor, it's my fault
guards!
Lock them up and await my judgment
Please forgive us, Emperor
Emperor...
Kill me if you wish but dare not insult me!
The Emperor was blinded
The loyal Lord Sima did not compromise
He must die noble
Emperor, you've abused your powers
lt's a sign that you'll let the country fall
What are you still doing here?
get out, l'll lock you all away
Mother
Why you've to see me
ln such haste?
lt's about your marriage
l haven't even left the palace
Before your father died
He created Civilian Street
So that you could see the world
And understand civilian life from the palace
That's all child's play
l want to get a taste of the real world
Excuse my frankness
Your safety is a matter of the state, Emperor
You cannot just leave like that
But isn't our country safe?
Still acting like a child
How can you be so immature about marriage?
The princess is from Xingping
You'll sure like her
Since l can't joke around about marriage
Then we must
Be serious about this
We'll need to meet first, then plan a while
And tell the world,
Stop right there, we...
Mother
l'm not asking you to fight in war
Don't worry
The girl l'm introducing
ls unique in both
Looks and figure
Mother...
Announcing Princess Xinping
Emperor
This princess is indeed a lady
Uncle, don't joke around
You know Mother's taste
Emperor, look
She's tall, slender and curvaceous
You've really got yourself something
greetings, Emperor
She is indeed a beauty. A beauty...
Like an angel
Uncle, come
Look
This meat is tender
Have some vegetables
Look, Brother
They look much too comfortable for prisoners
They're having a feast
All hail the Emperor!
Changci
Help me keep a watch outside
What secret code should we use?
Just clap
Alright!
Please forgive us, Emperor
lf you dare behave like this right under my nose
goodness knows
What it's like out in the real world
l'll give you two options
One
You will be beheaded tomorrow
l will certainly choose the second then
Emperor
l've been practicing kungfu for over a decade
Precisely because l don't want to die
What about you Sima?
Huh!
Well it depends on the second option
That is you take me
On a real undercover civilian patrol
We can't do that Emperor
lt's a drill, just want to know if the clap was loud enough
What are you doing
You're freaking me out
get lose!
Please excuse my frankness
But if leave like that
lt will affect the stability of the country
lt mustn't happen!
l can't force you to come with me
Emperor, l've always been loyal
And followed your lead
Protecting you unconditionally
Commander Chen and Doctor Wang
Both cowardly
Shoeshiners who will betray their countries
lt's not truth!
You're the betrayer indeed!
Stop playing around!
The most important thing now
ls to get me out of the palace
Emperor, it's all prepared
This hole will lead you outside the palace
You wanted to break out from the prison?
lt's Commander Chen's idea
He made the hole with a punch
Well done!
l was encouraging him too
Let the Emperor in
Watch me!
Emperor, could you come back out a little?
Alright
Please, Emperor
Let's go. Brother
Brother, l want to go too
no
You know l talk too much
Aren't you afraid l'll spill?
Are you threatening me?
You threatened me to get me in
l'll threaten you to take me out
Let's call it even
Alright
We'd better get out quick together
Please, this way, Emperor
Please
ln order to escape
The Emperor
Used filthy methods to leave palace
Two shoeshining subjects
Dared help the escape
Shame on them
We'll come back to pay our respects next year
As the royal historian
l must leave behind my fears
To ensure that history
ls complete
good!
The honest royal historian
Braves the escape from the palace
Despite having had to lower himself to such level
Lord ning
The Horse Soldiers have hunted another chicken
And the Sky Battlers got two wild rabbits
lt's too cruel, leave...
Yes!
ln fact the Lord loves animals
But to train the soldiers
He hid his pain and came hunting
lt's a shame the Emperor ran away
Lord ning
Must think of other ways
ln order to keep the country in order
Did you know
lf others overheard
What you said just now
They'd think that l'm a rebel
Lord ning
Even the Emperor had to run away from this marriage
Anything can happen
l'm certain
lf you had the pleasure of meeting the Princess
That you'd have run more quickly than the Emperor had
She's unbelievably ugly
l've been round the block a few times
But l've never been so scared
Even now
My heartbeat is still irregular
Lord ning
lt seems the Emperor does deserve our sympathy
Sympathy, indeed
But plans need to be made
Since that boy no longer wishes to be Emperor
Then as his uncle, l shall take his place
Hahaha
lt's easy for him to leave
But for him to get back will be difficult
Jiangnan
ls really as pretty as a picture
Complete with good looking girls
Upon arriving in Jiangnan
Mr. Em has only been concerned with having a good time
neglecting the sorrows of people
ln line with his hopeless nature
Sima
Are you documenting history
Or just blackening my name?
Em
l'm just stating the facts
l can't change white into black
Or black into white
Will you two
Come and help me a little?
l've been carrying this all alone
From Beijing to Jiangnan
Aren't you ashamed of yourselves?
You're a kungfu master
You're fit and healthy
Stop pushing!
Stop!
lf l get angry, one strike and l'll
Bring down a whole mountain, right
Shut up
Sima, what are all these
Young girls doing?
Ah, Mr. Em...
This is the world's oldest occupation
They've distilled centuries of culture
lt's a great place for us scholars
To gain inspiration
ls that so?
Yes, Mr. Em
lt's perfect for you to build your stamina
lt'll help you live longer
Simply put, this is ''Prostitution''
Oh
l'm leaving
Wait! Wait for me!
Wait
go for him
Quick!
Mr. Em, what are you doing?
That's going overboard
Painless tooth extraction?
As a seasoned doctor
l can only perform extractions that are less painful
This guy says
He can perform a painless one?
You can try. Try it
You can really
Do a painless tooth extraction?
The whole town knows
You have a tooth that needs to be extracted?
l have a bad one here
What colour string would you like?
Black
Just smell this powder and it won't hurt
lt didn't hurt, did it?
My tooth didn't, but my face does!
not my business, you can go see another specialist
Wen, your painting skills
Have improved greatly
l've been practicing for so many years
At last there's a purpose for it
Done
Allow me to write a few words
Let's get ready for work
go and take a look
My turn
Excuse me!
What's this?
lt's a magic box
A magic box?
Whatever you put inside will disappear
Fantastic! Excuse me...
Em, you were so rude
Leaving me all alone back there
With those girls. lt wasn't fun at all
What's going on here? Tell me now
You can't leave me behind when you'd all the fun
Tell me
This box can make anything disappear
Then it must have some kind of trap or hidden compartment
Or simply a tunnel beneath it
Or you have an assistant
Right inside
Since you're so curious
Why don't you go take a look yourself?
go on, try it out
Yes, go in
l'm no coward
So make me disappear
go!
She's really gone!
give me 5 silvers and l can make him come back
Oh, no no no!
Here!
Have these 50 silvers and make sure she won't be back
That's it
Let's go!
How clever of you Mr. Em!
Come... small bets can make your life better
Large bets can do well to the country
Come bet if you're free, you'll have prosperity
Come bet if you're busy
And you'll get a Britney
We've seen a lot of hardship all the way
At last we've reached this pleasant town in Jiangnan
And why do you say so, Mr. Em?
lt's so easy to do business here
Look
Open!
Pay up...
What is it sir?
lt's called ''Fish, Prawn, Crab''
lt's a form on gambling
Bumpkin
Quit talking, place your bets
l want to try too
My mother said, nine out of ten gambling games are frauds
l'll just observe
give it a try
Come on
Hands off
gourd! All hands off deck now
Prawn! Prawn...Hands off
Open!
l'll kill you
Pay up...
Pay up... Again!
My mother said gambling is harmful
ln mild cases you lose some change
ln extreme cases you can lose a home
Mr. Em, don't lose yourself
You should play too
l don't have any money
Even if l did
l won't engage in lowly activities like these
How dare...
Fish...Hands off
Open Fish...
gourd again!
Open!
Fish again!
Such bad luck!
How could that be? lt's been more than a dozen times!
Pay up!
Sir
Why have you had such good luck?
You've been winning every time
lt's not luck. l can see
See?
See!
gee, who dropped their silvers?
Thank you!
l keep dropping money today
Wow
lt just keeps dropping
l'm putting everything down
Quick, whatever you have
l'll put my head down!
Open!
You all want me to go bankrupt?
Bet a head, pay a head
Stop!
What?
l'm going to bet too!
Didn't you say you're broke?
lt's my retirement savings
Didn't you say nine out of ten gambling games are frauds?
This is the tenth
Didn't you say it would harm people?
lf l didn't know the result it would be gambling
now that l do, it's an investment
Open!
Open! Money!
Hands off
Ha Ha Ha
Open!
Ha Ha Ha Three prawns
Damn! We've lost everything
What should we do?
What are you all doing?
gambling in public?
Stop right there!
Run!
Where is everyone?
Why are we running?
We're good people, it's not our fault
We're just educating the locals
So that they don't get cheated on
Yes, l almost forgot
Excuse me, where are the victims?
They ran away faster than we did, all gone now
Yes, they ran really quickly
As if we were con artists
need not look for them
So it turns out they're the real con artists
no wonder they had to run so quickly
What does that mean?
Why is there a jade seal?
The Emperor?
lt's so light
These guys even tried to impersonate the Emperor
They are certainly con artists
lndeed, Brother Tang
Let's go for tea. Hold on
Come back
Leave the valuables with us
lt's pretty heavy
Let's go
lt's still a jade
Zhu Zhi-shan!
Who said that Zhu was here?
Who said it?
Lucky l was bending down
Zhu Zhi-shan!
l don't think they can recognize my butt
Don't think l can't recognize your butt!
He dove into the river!
Actually, why are we running?
We're officials
And you're the Emperor
Oh yeah. Damn straight
Don't be silly
lt'd be over if our identities are exposed
Yeah
You're right
l'm hungry now
Let's look for a place to eat
But we lost all our money
l even lost my retirement savings
Then how about the snacks in our luggage?
Why are you holding that? Where are the snacks?
You're useless
Why are you carrying a pole but not the luggage?
And you blame me?
lf only you'd helped with the pole
Then l would have been able to...
Why are you feeling me?
Why are you even alive?
Climb the chicken mountain and we'll get a big meal
get a what?
A big meal!
Excuse me, what big meal?
The chicken mountain
lt's a big event on the Pauper Clan's calendar
Yes, it only comes once a year
lt's when our stomachs are the fullest
Let's go as well!
Yes!
You're going too?
You're not part of the gang
Climb the chicken mountain and we'll get a big meal
lt smells so good!
l can't stand it anymore
l must get that king of Chickens
Sir, don't worry
l'll help you up to get the chicken
lt's alright, l can do it myself
l've been practicing kungfu since l was a kid
l even invented Farmer's Three Punches
lt's unbeatable
Even the royal guards aren't good enough
no one can stop me
Mr. Em, the guards...
Were just afraid to fight back
Are you saying that l'm actually no good?
Of course
no...
not!
So you're looking down on my Farmer's Three Punches?
no...
Or looking down on me?
l don't dare...
l'm going up no matter what
The decision is made. Do not interfere
Or else l'll have your entire family beheaded
Commander Chen insulted the Emperor
And leads to a threat for his entire extended family
lt's time!
Don't! You'll have your whole family killed
Doctor, give me a needle
needle! Yes!
Hold on...
Look
Mountain Mover
You'll kill your whole family
So be it!
lf anything happens to Mr. Em
We'll still die!
Mountain Mover...Wait
l have an idea
Where's the Commander?
A mysterious knight showed up
Mr. Em is no longer in danger
Thank you for saving my life
Mountain...
Mover....
lt turns out that the mysterious knight
Was Commander Chen
With a strategy planned by the Doctor
going against the Emperor's wishes
Should cause their entire family's death. You...
lt has nothing to do with the royal historian
Yes it has!
We need to save the Emperor
Mr. Em!
You're dead meat
Yang-ming
Take it over there, thank you
Come earlier next time
good
Have some
Phoenix is giving out noodles
Eat
Don't push, take it easy
Thank you Phoenix
lt's hot, be careful
Here's yours
Thank you
Thank you...
Here you are. Thank you
Be careful. Thank you
Thank you!
Don't push, we still have enough Don't rush
Here. Thank you...
Take this
And yours
lt must taste good
Thanks, Phoenix you are so kind
Phoenix, you have a good heart
Here
Take this
That's all for today, please come back tomorrow
l'm hungry
We've finished for today
You should come back tomorrow
But l'm hungry
We've really run out, look
But l'm hungry, what should l do?
He looks like he's crazy
Phoenix be careful, it might be contagious
l'm not crazy
l'm just...
My head hurts, and l can't really remember much
Then what's your surname?
Zhu
Ridiculous! Zhu is a royal name
l think he really is crazy
You're even more scary than my mother
l agree!
get back to work, you
Well l'm hungry, so make me something to eat
Why are you as stubborn as a bull?
And you've got as much manners as a vegetable!
l'm not a bull, nor a vegetable. l'm a person
l'll say it again
We've finished giving out our noodles
So go away!
But l'm hungry, what should l do?
go and buy some food
no money
go home to get some
l don't know where home is
Stop pretending and sod off!
Why don't you just whip me up something?
Phoenix said no, which means no
now stop causing trouble
Pay some respect to Phoenix
go... off you go
But l'm hungry! Stop making trouble
Stop making trouble
Here
This is some leftover odds and ends, you can have it
Thank you!
You're not wearing much, take this
Hey, what are you doing?
l'm tugging the cloak
Phoenix
Even though you look vicious
But l can tell that you're really kind
And gentle too
But can you add a couple of pieces of meat?
Beef, lamb or pork will do, or even chicken
Have you really lost your memory?
l'm not sure
l remember some things, but not others
You don't look like a beggar
l don't think l'm a beggar
Alright
You should stop saying your surname is Zhu
Then what's my surname?
l can just share your surname. What's your?
My family name is Lee
Lee. now you can choose a name for me
My brother's name is Jet, let's call you
Bruce
Bruce Lee...
great! Phoenix
There's trouble at Treasure Shop
Hurry!
Open the door!
The door's been locked from the inside
Open the door!
Sister, help me
Jet!
Who dares to mess with my Treasure Shop?
Phoenix, l've heard you're a rational person
l'm not here to make trouble
l'm here to discuss
Do you need weapons to discuss?
Don't blame me
lt's your brother who stabbed me with a chopstick first
Liar!
He tried to kidnap me first, then l stabbed him
Shut it!
Would he come for you if you're innocent?
Phoenix, you are rational indeed
Hit the gong!
Stop!
Phoenix, thank you for the noodles
Even though they were a bit bland
lt got better as l ate it
You're so kind and willing to help others
What can l do for you?
Just put the bowl down and leave
Here?
That's fine
Are you kidding me?
Ah!
You...
He stabbed you, you stabbed him, that's fair
Yes!
But this bowl didn't do anything to you
And you smashed it, that's not fair
l've never believed in fairness!
How dare you!
Punish someone illegally in the middle of the day?
Don't you have respect for the law?
Kid, who are you anyway?
l...
l don't know who l am
But Phoenix just gave me a new name
l'm Bruce... Lee!
get him!
He looks so cool even when he's fallen
Really?
Hero, you look like you need a weapon
Take this
He looks so cool!
Looks like short weapons don't suit you, let's give you a...
nun-chickens!
Will it work?
Use both!
Stop!
lf he owes you money, l'll pay for him
That's all l was waiting to hear
Let him go first
go back
How much does my brother owe you?
Two thousand taels
What? You...
lt was two hundred!
lt's written clearly in the contract
How much the interest is
l didn't trick him
lf you give me Treasure Shop, it'll all be cleared
lmpossible
lt's not up to you to say no!
Treasure Shop is my life's work
lf you dare take it, you'll have to take my life too
l'll pay you back in 7 months
Two thousand one hundred taels
no bargaining
Alright!
Let's go
lf you don't keep your promise
l'll be coming after your Treasure Shop
Jet, are you alright?
l'm fine
Thank you for helping
l didn't really do anything
You only helped because of me, right?
l...
He wants to be the knight saving the beauty
l'm not so easy
What are you doing, just standing there
Bruce Lee
You really can't remember where you live?
no
You can stay in the room upstairs
Really? Thank you!
You have to earn your stay here at Treasure Shop
You need to work
Sure!
good!
general, the silly boy
Lost his companions in Jiangnan
And ended up in Treasure Shop
As a waiter
He actually lost his memory
go to Jiangnan immediately
Don't worry my Lord
Amnesia...
l want him to become a distant memory
Here, please
Phoenix
Bruce, help me serve this
l don't know how to
You don't know how to serve?
As far as l can remember, l've never done it before
Well, do you know how to eat?
Yes and l'm good at it too
ls that so?
Hold it
good
You know how to eat but not how to serve
Do you think you're the Emperor?
Serve!
Here comes the highlight of Treasure Shop
Show time!
l introduce you... hand-beaten beef balls!
Bruce...
What's wrong?
Could you please...
My stomach isn't feeling right
Could you take his to Table 4 upstairs?
Upstairs, Table 3, thanks
l'm so hungry, l...
l need to get something to eat
Upstairs, Table 8
Table 8...
You can't stop staring
When you see a pretty girl like me
Pervert
Four, three, eight
This is the flaming prawns for Table 6
Before you serve, you must light it
Here
Be careful of the lard on the floor
The retard?
l mean the lard!
Oh, lard, where?
lt's on fire!
What's happening?
Mr. Ye
Mr. Ye, who pissed you off?
What's happening?
Don't worry
What's there to worry about?
l might have lost my memory, but l'm not stupid
Treasure Shop will do good business
l think...
The most important thing is that the food tastes good
l can't cook, but...
l've eaten all sorts of good food
Are you serious?
Of course
lf l remember correctly
That Bruce Li
Has taken over my kitchen
Saying he wants to try new dishes
What an insult to my cooking!
What's in the pot?
This is called
Blossoming deer!
Come, come
ls this deer really that good?
Bruce said, this soup is best
Served with civet
Come, try it
lt's absolutely delicious!
Fatty, try this one
Yummy! And... hold on
There's more?
This smells even better!
good taste
So what?
Our clients are really picky
There isn't much to be picky about with this
Come and try
Excuse
And it's been a long while
Haven't you missed me?
Why wouldn't l? Your meals are served!
This restaurant is so popular. Dishes are coming!
Phoenix
Fortune Duck!
Please
Can l help you?
l'd like another sashimi
l'm sorry
As supplies are limited
Each table is limited to one order
Be careful! This food is awesome!
Excuse me...
Here you are!
Thank you
Coming through
Councillor He
Fish cooked
Wow!
lt was cooked in the time that it took
From the river to the restaurant
After calculating the time, distance and speed
lt's done just right
lt'll be nothing like you've ever tasted
Councillor He, please
Wow, it's delicious!
l'm going to have this everyday!
l want one too!
One by one
no rush
Jet and Fatty? now off you go
Sister, l was already exhausted after the last time we went
lf l go again
l'm sure l'll keel over
Then do you want to repay your debt?
Even our super fit Fatty can't take it anymore
Right?
Here
go again and l'll give you two more pork buns, alright?
Yes!
god, you'd really do anything for food!
Off you go then
Thank you
Councillor He, please
Famed for his Eighteen Chops kungfu
Please welcome, Master Zhao from Taixing Mountain!
He's going to perform
Knife cut angel's hair noodles
Mark Sword!
Yes!
Bravo!
Mark! Yes!
Hold this, here
Subtitle by Aldi Arman
Pare Pare Pare
Bravo
Pare Pare Pare
Ladies and gentlemen, despite my muscular strength
l'm no klutz
Actually, l have great attention to detail
l'm a fine, elegant man
Bruce!
Bring this plate of angel's hair
To the beauty of Treasure Shop
Everyone, the beauty of Treasure Shop, Phoenix!
great!
Me?
Trying to court my sister?
l'm not going to make it easy
Oh no
Sorry...
Don't worry
l just wanted to tell you
That your debts
Will be cleared
Really?
Of courseSister
l won't go back on my word
Phoenix, l've told Jet that his debt is settled
l'll count it as my investment in Treasure Shop
Really? Sure
Excuse us
Allow me to introduce to you
Mr. McFortune
The owner of the mightiest
Most delicious restaurant that's opposite
The renowned Kentacky
lt's amazing that even Mr. McFortune from the famous Kentacky
Wants to try dishes at Treasure Shop
l have 270 branches nation-wide
l just want to tell this good man
He should invest on Kentacky instead
ln less than 3 days
This Treasure Shop will be devoid of treasures
And have to close its doors for good
Let's go
We've informed you already
Phoenix, forgot what l said to you
Wait... Mr. McFortune!
Liars!
What happened?
Don't worry, l have a plan
Phoenix, give me your hand
What do you want?
no
l just want to give you my new menu
Look
With these new dishes
We can release one a day
Who cares about Kentacky?
We'll gobble him up
Ever since returning from Taixing Mountain
My Eighteen Chops
Have never seen such an insult!
Then what do you suggest, Eighteen Chops?
We'll send them a declaration of war!
Sending with an arrow? That's classy
You do it!
Me?
l might kill him
But l...
Shoot! Are you scared?
Alright, l'll shoot
They even dared to shoot a declaration of war across
lt was chaos
There were so many people and horses
You can't blame me for saving the wrong person
lt's your fault!
Everyone was fighting
And you were there hiding away and drawing
lt was hard to depict the situation with words
Drawing was the best method
What's that you draw?
l couldn't have recorded anything without diagrams
Look...
At least you can draw clearer
There may have been a tiny clue to lead us
But these are nothing
How am l going to look for him?
You're blaming me now? Alright then
The shoe shining Commander Chen failed to protect
And lost the Emperor
And even insulted the royal historian. l'm a shoeshiner?
Take your leave
You said l was a shoe shiner?
lf you keep writing nonsense, l'll...
My pen is my sword. l'll kill you with my words!
So the shoe shining Commander now wants to murder the royal historian
The latter refuses to retreat
My sword is my pen!
Don't think that l won't dare offend you
l'll thrust this right in you!
l'll write your death! l'll thrust this right in you!
Hush now
Have a look! Our dog suddenly fell pregnant
And gave birth to a black dog
Tell me who did this?
There are only two black dogs in the entire town
Old Liu has one, but he was neutered long ago
Chen the textile trader is the one you want
l'm going to him right now
One tael per question? next
Quick...
So heavy
now tell me straight
Where is Mr. Em?
l don't know who Mr. Em is
You're as stubborn as a dead duck
Alright then, l'll play your game
Let's play Smashing Boulder with Chest
no...
lt should be Smashing Chest with Boulder
You're so creative; no wonder you're a royal...
A royal pain in the ass you are! Where's the boulder?
You didn't ask me to prepare one
Doesn't matter then, let's use a duvet
Duvet...
We don't have that, how about this?
What?
Do you want to kill him?
At least we can scare him
lf you don't move, it won't hurt
Spit it out
l'm sorry
You leave us with no choice
You're amongst friends
You've always helped us before
l'll do it, l won't go too hard
l don't know you at all
Don't be like that
Stop, stop it
We're all civilized people
Why should we get violent?
Stand back
Stand back!
Young man, we're really in a hurry to find Mr. Em
lf you can help us
l'll give you 200 taels as a reward
200 taels is perfect
Young man
But l'm not sure if you're sincere about this
That's fair
You think so? Yes
Alright then, leave us with 10 taels as a guarantee
We'll give you the guarantee and reward afterwards
This is... l...
Don't worry, we keep our words
We won't take more than we need
Thank you then, give us some good news
go on then
get on with it!
go! Shoo!
Will this fat guy report us to the authorities?
And say we stole from him?
We had a legitimate deal
There's nothing to be afraid of!
Besides, with all our make-up
Even our own mothers wouldn't recognize us
You think he won't report us
We are now wanted criminals?
l told him clearly that it was just a guarantee
Southerners are such barbarians
l just wanted to get him to talk
Which would have been clean and easy
lt's all because of you silly scholar
And your stupid tactics
And now we are in this mess
We had so much make-up on
How can they recognize us?
You three are wanted criminals
You can recognize us?
Look...
lt's okay
We're such a good match
One look and you'll see it's genuine
lt's worth your trip
May l ask who your father is?
Mr. Chen, please rise
You think my father's the Emperor?
He's just a stamp maker in the courts
So have you seen the stamp?
lt's damaged and not of the highest quality, so...
How much is it worth?
lt's priceless
lt belongs to the royal court
l'm afraid l can't take it
lt's time for me to go
Mr. Chen...
Just give me a price
How can l put on price on something that's priceless?
lf you're not going to take it, then at least pay for the meal
Alright, alright, l'll pay
goodbye Mr. Chen
His name is Zhu Zhi-shan
Zhu Zhi-shan?
One of the Four Retards of Jiangnan
He's just wandering around and is full of good-for-nothing ideas
And he's an awfully greedy smooth talker
l've told you many times
Quit being a loan shark
And you just ignore me!
Cousin, l can't even get my capital back
You tell me if you think this is high-interest?
A borrower must repay his debts
This Zhu Zhi-shan
l'll definitely chop him up to 19 pieces if l see him!
There's something l don't understand
You do Eighteen Chops, so why 19 pieces?
One chop splits him into two, two chops makes three
So 18 chops will split him into 19
You can't even count
Why are you in the credit business?
goodbye! Oh no!
Oh no...
lt's a disaster
This is the menu from Kentacky, have a look
Why is it exactly the same as ours?
Oh yes
Our menu's been leaked
That's impossible, only us few have seen it
nothing is impossible
l want to show everyone the menu
So l suspect...
That someone in Treasure Shop
One of us
ls a double agent
Whoever betrays Treasure Shop
Deserves my Eighteen Chops!
lt's not you, right?
You're probably just accusing others to cover for your guilt
Let me through, l'll chop you up!
Calm down...
We need evidence
That's why l gather everyone
To find out who the double agent is
But don't forget, you read the menu too
For fairness, l think...
Bruce should be the one investigating the case
Me?
He writes the menu
You won't leak it
Right?
Yes, yes
And this restaurant belongs to Phoenix
So she can't have leaked it either
So how about Phoenix and l investigate this together
good! Everyone stays in Treasure Shop today!
lt's good that that crazy guy isn't around
l should leave through the back door
lt's locked
You think you can beat me
With a lock like this? l could unlock it when l was
Alright, l'll wait
Will it work?
People who feel guilty
Won't be able to withstand the pressure
And will try to escape
Whoever gets caught by the trap is the double agent
lf l find out who designed this lock
l'll hack his hand off!
Since l can't leave from the back, l'll go from the front
Since l can't go from the front, l'll climb out a window
l won't give in, l can do it
What are you doing?
nothing
Just fantasizing
That hurt! Can't l even fantasize?
lt's certainly no decent thoughts anyways
l'm a refined, educated man
l know my manners
l can do it
l know l can do it
Something's happening. l'm going to go have a look
lt was me!
l admit it!
lt was me who leaked the menu!
What is it... l admit it
lt was me
l was the double agent
l was the double agent Fatty...
Calm down... calm down, listen to me!
lf you want to kill me then go ahead
But before l die...
Just give me a nice, big meal
Fatty! Fatty!
Fatty!
She's not the double agent, she's just starved
Make her something to eat
Thank you Phoenix!
This is safer
Wait for you at 3am, l got a surprise for you
l didn't think l'd ever have such luck
ls it Bruce?
Uh-huh
You're so naughty
You even got into my bed
Who is it?
She's sleeping so early
What are you doing in my room?
You told me to come in
That note wasn't meant for you
Who's that for?
Don't come any closer!
Tell me who's that for? l'll chop him up into pieces!
Actually.. l...
l...
You have pretty hairy legs
What?
l... l was born like this
Let me help you shave
gui! gui?
gui, what are you doing?
What...
What's happening?
What?
Bruce?
Aren't you in bed with me?
You're in bed with her?
l'm in bed with you?
Who are you?
You dare asking who l am? Ha!
How dare you!
l don't care who you are, l'm going to kill you!
Hold it right there
gui!
Look
A stamp?
lt's a jade seal
A jade seal?
Are you all thick?
l am the Emperor
Patrolling undercover in Jiangnan
Whoever dares to offend me
l'll have their entire family beheaded
You... look like someone
Who?
Like Zhu Zhi-shan!
Bring it here
What can l say now?
So my brother's name is Zhu Zhi-shan!
One of the reasons why
l've come to Jiangnan
ls to look for my long lost twin brother
You must let me know if you see him
And take good care of him
And you'll be greatly rewarded
You've accomplished a great task, bow to receive your honors
Thank you Emperor!
What's wrong? Bow!
All hail the Emperor!
When the Emperor grant you honors
You mustn't raise your heads
now, l, the Emperor
Will grant you the title of Royal Cleaver guar
Present your cleaver
Yes!
Oh no, the Emperor's gone
l've never heard of
An Emperor who ran away
After granting someone a title
Yeah
l'm so stupid. He must have been an imposter
But that jade seal looks real
Weird! l think this...
Bruce...
What are you looking at?
l think... l'm not sure where...
But l think l've seen this thing before
You've seen this before?
Do you think you're the Emperor?
Where's my cleaver?
Without my sword l am nothing...
Without my sword l am dead!
Alright, calm down!
Let me get this straight
And question you one by one
That sounds logical. Let's do it
lt's impossible that l did this
Let me go first
Everyone look
The declaration of war?
You...
How very arrogant!
They actually sent over their new menu
How did that happen?
lt was you!
Please
Kentacky! We're so happy to be tacky!
Kentacky! We'll bring our swords and start hacking!
l'm gonna kill you!
Kill! Kill!
Jet, what's happening?
They're playing seafood
So we're playing wild game
Our wild game
Will definitely beat you stinky seafood
Kill! Kick them!
nonsense!
Stop!
Stop! Stop!
Oh what?
For Treasure Shop
l can do anything, even reveal my naked body!
gui!
Bring him back!
Hang up the lettuce bouquet!
lnside there is 100 taels
lf you get it, it's yours
That's our sign!
Stop it!
Stop it... Stop...
My sign...
Phoenix, l'm here
Bruce?
Watch me!
Where's the lettuce?
Oh no, quickly,
Help, my sign!
Stop it
Catch me!
Tear the sign down!
My sign... my sign!
Don't worry, l'm here
Sir, this is your soup
There's a cockroach in the soup!
What? What?
Come over and have a look
There's a cockroach...What's the matter?
ln my soup
Calm down...
What's the matter?
lt's really a cockroach
A cockroach?
This...
Miu, why are you naked?
There's nothing
See, everyone says there's nothing
l can't find the cockroach
lt must've been your eyes. This is our very special
Chicken and fungus soup
We have quality and hygiene assurance
nothing like that could happen
lt was just a mistake
Everyone please return to your seats
Please everyone
lt's all finethank you
Pease return to your seats
There's a centipede!
goodness, a centipede this big
Could kill someone!
What's the matter?
Well...
Excuse me...
go have a look yourself
Well...
Please don't be alarmed, ladies and gentlement
This is our newest creation, a dish from Japan
Centipede sashimi?
lt's good for maintaining internal balance
And digestion
ln particular suitable for kids and women
And men will go ' bang! bang! bang!'
Why don't you eat it then?
Yeah sure... eat it...
Bravo!
Ladies and gentlemen...
You are about to witness a miracle
l'm fine!
Please don't worry
This is an exclusive performance
We've prepared for you
Let's start! Music!
One! Two! Three! Four!
Jet said he's on a high, and Daniel laughed
Daniel said he's digesting well, and Lou laughed
Lou said he's a smooth talker, and Fatty laughed
Fatty said she's a heavyweight, and gui laughed
gui said he has attention to detail, and Miu laughed
Miu said she talks sweetly, and Flora laughed
Flora said she's the most tender, and Phoenix laughed
Phoenix said she doesn't hit others, and Bruce laughed
Kentacky wanted to beat Treasure Shop, and all the pigs laughed
And all the pigs laughed
Thank you...
Thank you, please pay here
lt's not my fault, my lips are swollen
Alright, alright...
Looks like the Emperor really has gone crazy
A pig's joke...
Let's see how long you'll be laughing for
Here
gui said this ointment is useful
He gave it to you?
Then hurry up and put some on
Alright
Dear Lord
Even though our shop has rich clients
Most of them have bad hearts
Smooth-talkers and liars
Bruce Li
Will you ever lie to me?
Of course not, you'd be the last person l'd dare lie to
He's the only one who's been true to me after all these years
Lord, please help Bruce
Help him get better soon
He's silly enough, and now he's all swollen up too
He'll be bullied when he's out
You're so kind, Phoenix
You're thinking too much
l just want you to leave sooner
Really?
l want you to leave, why you are still smiling?
ls that how much you want to leave?
l mean...
Oh no, Phoenix, your lips are swelling up too
Damn, l must've passed the swelling on to you
Sit down and let me help you put some ointment on
Or else Phoenix will be Piglet
Oh, Phoenix
Since our business is getting better
And we're earning more
l wanted to...
You want to get a raise, do you?
Of course not
l have food and shelter, that's all l need
What l was saying was
You give out 100 bowls of noodles to the poor everyday
Can we increase that to 200 from now on?
l've been poor and hungry before, so l understand...
lt's a really dreadful feeling, being so helpless
You are the reason for Treasure Shop's success
lt's fair enough if you'd like to get a raise
What would l do with money?
l want to give you this, look!
l wouldn't treasure cheap jewelry like these
lt's not a cheap jewelry
l've been wearing it all along
l think it's very valuable, keep it safe
Whether it's cheap or not
l'll still keep it safe and treasure it
l'm sure it's not a cheap fake
lt must be an heirloom
You believe that you can cheat me like that?
l said l wouldn't cheat you
Right
Seems like those guys won't give up so easily
Phoenix, you need to be cautious
You don't need to be afraid
Because l'll be here for you
You're so silly, but kind-hearted
l believe that you'll never lie to me
But if you do...
Be prepared to have cane marks all over you!
lt really hurts!
Of course!
Something's wrong with gui's ointment, my lips have gone numb!
l'm fine
l can't feel a thing
How about now?
Or now?
Oh no...
lt's okay
How about that? Bet you can feel it now
You hit my nose
Sorry, l didn't do it on purposelt hurts
l'm starving
Let's eat while we wait
l'm startingno!
This meal is made for Flora especially
l'm back!
How did it go, can he cure her?
We'd have to wait an hour to see if it worked
lt might fail?
There are two possibilities
One is that it will be cured
The other is that she'll become a mute
lf she becomes a mute
Then we won't have to listen to her strange squeaks anymore
lt'll be good for us too
Do you want to die?
l didn't say anything
Quick, undo her dressing
Here l'll do it
Try to say your name slowly
Flora
none of you can leave!
lt's him
Zhu is the royal surname
And sounds the same as 'pig'. Yet you dared to sing a song
Called 'A Pig's Joke'. Take him away!
Stay calm people!
Alright, l'll come with you
But this has nothing to do with them
Leave them alone
Take him!
Bruce...
This is fatal
Don't worry
l'll be fine
Phoenix
l'll be back very soon
Bruce...
He mocked the royal name!
An example for you all!
He mocked the royal name! Shame on him!
An example for you all! What's happening?
Excuse me...
He mocked the royal name! Shame on him!
Bruce... Bruce!An example for you all!
Stop!
Who was that?
Horrible man!
Hit him hard! Hit him death!
Hit him hard!
Don'tStop it
Stop throwing...
Don't...Stop throwing...
Stop it! Stop right now!
Stop right now!
Stop throwing...Don't..
What's happening?
That man insulted the Emperor
Being publicly humiliated is the least we can do to him
Ha!
l must record that in the royal history
His bad name will stay with him forever!
You deserve it!
Throw it at him! Here you go...
granny, your hands are shaking
Let me help you, give me an egg
got him!
got him again!
Just like a shooting star!
Hole in one!
Stop!
Stop it, all of you!
A command from the royal court
This man insulted the Emperor, his crime is serious
He must be beheaded immediately
guards! Swords!
lt's raining?
Emperor
Stop...
l'm here to serve you
Attack!
Wang, you're so heavy
Wake up Wang
Lucky l found your acupuncture needles
You're going to be fine!
You betrayer!
l'll see how you can get out of this!
l can't believe a little assistant like you
Can control an entire army, with important officials tagging along
Did the Emperor suddenly get better?
We might be in deep trouble now
Looks like you've got someone backing you
Lord ning found out
That someone was mocking the Emperor
And leading the public astray
So he sent me with the army
To surround you rebels!
You ignorant tyrant!
Do you know...
Let it go
lt's nothing you can do about it
Your mighty Mountain Mover kungfu
Does it actually work?
Yes of course!
Wang...
l didn't want to hurt you
That was how you saved people
Rest in peace
You've said so much
l'll really need to fight for my life
Look at all your men
They've fled for their lives
Where's everyone?
Mountain Mover!
Emperor!
Where did you go?
Why did you have to run along walls and all?
You could have taken a more direct route
Emperor, l just want to make it more imposing
This is something l invented...
Mountain Moving Canon!
Please light it! Alright!
Where's the fuse?
Sorry Emperor, l gave you the wrong side
Please light it, Emperor!
Here we go!
Emperor, l've come too late
My canon is useless
Bruce... Don't die!
What should l do with Treasure Shop without you?
Phoenix, don't worry
l promised l would be fine
Lord ning is arriving!
Phoenix
You still got the jade pen that l gave you?
Yes
Pull it open
When l ask you to do so
Emperor, how have you been?
l've been waiting for you
You still remember your Uncle?
All these time you've been pretending
With all your undercovers around, l had no choice...
McFortune
How did you get yourself exposed?
So what if l were exposed?
l've brought 5000 of my strongest men
You'd never leave this place
ls that so?
Phoenix, pull now!
Quick Phoenix!
Pull!
What's happening?
What are you doing?
nothing, l...
Royal guard no. 167 reporting for service!
Royal guard no. 290 reporting for service!
Royal guard no. 438 reporting for service!
Royal guard undercover in Jiangnan reporting for service!
l don't even need to count
300 strong army against my 5000 Royal guard
Compare to my experienced army
Your Royal guards
Are just a disorderly group of rebels
Uncle
You don't really believe that's all l've got, do you?
There's more
Yang ming
You were relegated to Suzhou. That's part of the plan too?
lndeed
l sold fish there for 3 years
Only so that l could wait for this very day
lt's not so easy to defeat me
Snipers!
Uncle, you underestimate me
Haven't you heard of my Dagger Society?
What Dagger Society? Shoot!
Daggers, attack!
Did you think only you had a strategy?
lt's a shame your own kungfu is no good
golden Wheel, Silver Spear, kill him!
Who are you?
That's me!
Before joining the Royal guard
l was the master of hidden weapons in the Tang clan
The Moral Tang, that's my name
You're joking!
When you were throwing eggs before
Your hands were shaking
Commander Chen, that's the Emperor l was throwing eggs and
Of course my hands would tremble
You should have told me
You were so indugded in your throwing
l didn't want to spoil your mood
Why are you still chatting? Attack!
Will you lie to me?
Of course not
You're the most sincere person l've ever known
l trust you
l wouldn't dare lie to you
Brass Cymbal, Metal Club, attack!
Emperor!
Damn! l've been tricked!
My pen is my sword
lt's made especially to you betrayers!
The things you've done today
Will be recorded forever in my royal history
Your name will be ruined
l'll write it for you
The shameless Lord ning is a greedy coward
He ran away into a cloud of smoke
Yang ming!
Yes Sir!
Capture the rebels!
Yes Sir!
Come with me!
How dare you Jet!
You kept winking to me before
As if you had plans
That's annoying
guards, take him to be beheaded
Please forgive me Emperor
l'm innocent!
Come back!
Tell me how have l been unjust?
Actually...
l'm actually a Royal guard too
You? A Royal guard?
l'm a reserved trainee
My trainee number is 1647
Test him
Yes, Emperor
This unidentified human
Really is a Royal guard trainee
But he only received one order
That Treasure Shop was having an important person
Which was why he winked at you as code
Emperor
guards, take him away
Why is he still being taken away?
Take him to deregister from the ranks
Your lack of talent
Will affect the reputation of the Royal guard
Emperor
lt's my dream to be in the Royal guard
Let's leaveMy dreams are gone!
Let's go!
The Emperor is arriving
All hail the Emperor!
Please rise, everyone
Thank you Emperor!
We're closed for today
Everyone can go home now
Let's go...
All hail the Emperor!
Please rise
The Treasure Shop is closed today
Please come back another time, Emperor
Phoenix
You've got to serve anyone who steps in
lt's not fair to send me away without serving me
Sir, what can l get you?
l would like a bowl of... plain noodles
Phoenix...
Emperor, you should leave
l never wanted to lie to you
l was forced by the circumstances
l didn't do it on purpose
Stop right there!
Can't you forgive me?
You can hit me if you're angry
Or scold me if you want
At least give me a bad look
Don't ignore me like that
You knew that l hated people lying
not only did you lie to me, you even joined forced with my brother
And everyone else to lie to me
From Beijing to Jiangnan
How many people have you lied to?
no one! l've only lied to you!
That's even worse!
There are so many people you could have cheated
But you lied to me alone
You...Enough!
Alright then
Since you say so, l will lie to you
l've decided to lie to you for life
l will lie to come to the palace with me
l will lie to get you to be my Queen
l will lie to get you to have children with me
l will lie to live wonderful life with me
Come with me
Thank you, but no thank you
l forgot to tell you
My father handed this restaurant over to me before he died
And l promised him
That l will never give up Treasure Shop
You mean...
You won't come back to the palace with me?
Right, l understand
Remember what you said
Emperor...
Emperor...Emperor...
How did you go with my sister?
l'm sure it went very, very well
Should we choose a fine day...
To organise the marriage
Yes...Yes...
Tear the building down
What did you say
l said tear the Treasure Shop down!
How... how could you...
The Emperor failed in his quest for love and become vengeance
He is determined to tear down Treasure Shop
lndeed...
Being beside the Emperor is as dangerous as being beside a tiger
All of this
ls what l saw while in Jiangnan
But this time
You took a big risk
l know l've made you worry
But you can't catch a tiger without entering his cave
Mother, you didn't want me
To while my days away in the palace
As a useless Emperor, right?
What's that?
nothing... nothing
Mother, let's stroll that way
Oh no
We forgot about Princess Changci
What should we do?
The store owner left ages ago
Where should we start looking?
Yes, where should we begin?
Princess Changci!
When did you come back?
Just now
Where were you?
The Loess Plateau
How did you come back?
l walked
Her answers are so succinct
Mother
Come in for a seat
l'm meeting Princess Xingping
To take her around
Oh yes, l haven't thanked her in person yet
Princess Xingping is arriving
All hail the Emperor. Long Live the Empress!
Please rise, Princess
Thank you for your help last time
For turning yourself to such a ugly creature
You're most welcome, Emperor
We really caused you a lot of embarrassment
Princess you are indeed a unique beauty
l should have played along
With mother's marriage arrangements
lt's not too late now
Would you like me to arrange it again?
l was just joking
gui, what are you doing standing here?
As the Royal Cleaver guard
l must protect our Treasure Shop!
Like a security guard?
l'd secure your ass!
Off you go
Phoenix
Where were you?
nowhere
Really?
l thought you wanted to marry Princess Xingping?
How did you hear that?
What?
l was just kidding
Kidding?
Are you saying that l've wronged you?
l suppose you could say so
Come over here!
Don't do that, too many people around here
Everyone, leave us!
Don't go!
We had a deal
You're the Emperor out there
l'm the boss in Treasure Shop
A good man keep his promise
l won't ever lie to you
You just said
You were going to marry Princess Xingping
How dare you say you wouldn't lie to me!
You think l'm stupid?
l hate it when people tell lies
And look what you're doing
Enough!
l'm the Emperor
At least show some respect
You're right
now how about this?
lt hurts! lt hurts...
lf people saw me like this
How can l stand proud as Emperor?
There's only you and me here, who else can see?
And what if they saw?
l'd have them beheaded if they see us!
Jet, what are you doing here?
What did you see?
How come l can't see anything?
l've gone blind!
Can someone please tell me where l am?
Don't you take advantage as the Queen's brother
l'll still behead you
l can't hear either
What's the point of living
l'm gone!
Phoenix
Emperor
lf you have to kill everyone
Then you better kill all of them too
What?
Forgive us, Emperor...
You! All of you...
Hold it right there, all of you!
Don't act stupid!
Forgive me...Bruce Li, stop right there
l didn't lie. How dare you run?
You lied to me! You...
You'd better explain to me clearly
Stop itTry to run away?
Stop right there
lt's embarrassing
Whoever catches him can get free meal for a month!
Help!
Don't be like that...
Let's see where you can run to now!
Subtitle by Aldi Arman